All this really needed was someone like Emil Jannings to add a bit of imperialist, silent-film, gravitas to proceedings as a pair of slightly self-obsessed intellectual ne’er-do-wells get caught up in the Franco-Russian war. Unfortunately for the Czar, with Napoleon clamouring at his borders, he must rely on the likes of the neurotic and yellow-bellied “Boris” (has to be Woody Allen, doesn’t it?) to enlist in his army. He is about as much use as that wrong calibre stuff they had in the Crimea, but he determines that his best plan for a swift exit back to his equally up-herself cousin “Sonja”…