"Mike Lane" (Channing Tatum) is now reduced to tending bar at exclusive functions when he encounters the wealthy "Max" (Salma Hayek). She offers him $6k for a private dance, and this moves her world sufficiently for her to take him to London with an unique offer that shocks her estranged husband, their adopted daughter (and the narrator) "Zadie" (Jemelia George) and amuses her rather sceptical factotum "Victor" (Ayub Khan-Din). What's wrong with this film, though, is that it attempts to inflict a plot on what has been essentially, up to now, a series of (very) soft porn dance routines that…